Although it’s mostly me who’s weird. There are people I’ve known forever, but still talk too much around. Why is this? Am I trying to impress them? I know them well enough and I like them, but something makes me nervous.

Meeting groups of people whom I like and would like to be accepted by particularly makes me dumb. Why is it that when I want something I seem to be incapable of acting intelligently so that I can succeed?

I shouldn’t feel so insecure. It’s odd. I’m so much less comfortable around my peers than I am around profs other adults or younger kids. I guess it’s relatively new for me to know established groups of people my own age whom I think are interesting. In public school I usually hung around with very few people or even no one at all. Maybe this was somewhat counterproductive, but after being tormented it seems like a natural reaction. I just feel especially strange now. Whenever I hang around with a group of interesting people, say the apple math people or the math phys people, I feel like I’m someone’s little sister just tagging along. Grrr. Must stop being afraid of groups of people.

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