Professors don’t wear tight low rise pants.
Professors are allowed to forget to comb their hair.
Professors are allowed to play with interesting problems all day.
Professors are not sex kittens.

Sexy women¹ on the other hand…

I am sexist. This isn’t conscious, but lately I’ve become more aware of what I’m doing. As a woman in engineering this bothers me greatly, but it’s true. When I see someone who is female and dressed in a certain manner² I automatically assume that she is not as smart as me or the others (mostly men) around me. I wonder how much of this is my rejection of mainstream culture, and how much of this is my unwilling acceptance of what it is trying to tell me. Sexy women are not supposed to concern themselves with intellectual matters, at least not the “high level” stuff. “Math is hard!” Sexy women can be successful career oriented women, but that generally means that they are ruthless in order to make as much money as possible.

As someone who has never felt included in the cool group, perhaps I felt more free to choose a non-traditional field of study than these women. Despite this, I still wrestle with gender issues. I see myself as fitting the lesbian stereotype very well. I would like to cut my hair short and wear loose baggy clothing, but when I do I get mistaken for a boy. I enjoy math, welding, bike repair, hiking, and many other not very girly pursuits. I hate the colour pink. I know that I should feel comfortable doing whatever I am interested in, but it bothers me to be mistaken for a boy or a lesbian when I am neither. Please don’t misunderstand; I have many homosexual friends (both male and female) and am active in gay rights. I certainly don’t think that there’s anything wrong with being gay. Sometimes I wish I were because I think I would fit better.

Personally, I must admit that I idolize professors and the stereotypical professor lifestyle. I want to be that absent minded, ruffled, brilliant, charismatic (male) researcher and professor. I can absolutely see myself in that position. For people who are interested in being “sexy women” in any capacity I can see how choosing professorship would be somewhat of a foreign idea. A professor just doesn’t do the things that the “in” girls do. Mind you, this makes me personally happy as I tend to abhor such things, but since most women are more interested in this than I am, this certainly could be an obstacle. Perhaps it’s not that they don’t find professors they think are interesting, but they just don’t find professors they can see themselves becoming.

It is somewhat surprising (to me at least) that I should feel uncomfortable about being myself. I am surrounded by so many wonderful and supportive people, and I feel relatively unpressured to conform. If I am having some difficulty with this, is it any wonder that those women who feel compelled to be “sexy women” have difficulty choosing to become professors?

¹I’m using “sexy woman” as the stereotype that many women seem to aspire to. This does NOT in ANY WAY represent what I think of as sexy. (*shudder*)
²This picture is very appropriate. The character Rose Tyler is very strong, smart, and able to take care of herself. My first subconscious impression based on looks and clothing would be to write her off.

Posted in Learning |

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Trackback from your own site.