When I was in elementary school I found that I got teased and picked on no matter who I pretended to be, so I decided that I should quit wasting my energy creating another persona, and just be myself. I wish it was so easy.

Yesterday I went to a party with a bunch of students who are doing research at the university this summer. It was beautiful. The people were awesome. We talked about nuclear fusion, quantum physics, and much other geekery. We played capture the flag on campus with waterguns. No one got drunk.

I’ve been feeling overly nervous the past few days, like I’m forgetting something important, or something is really wrong.

I miss being at university. I belong there. I’d managed to get myself to think I didn’t deserve it because I didn’t get the research award, and I didn’t do as well marks wise as I thought I would. I get too competitive. I am not the best, and I never will be. That shouldn’t stop me from doing what I love.

Now I just have to find a way to save the world as well as do math.

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